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Guidelines used for the Ladies Gracious insight into the intellect of your gentleman

At present, I thought I'd write down a little something for the ladies. A manual, if you will, on what us guys believe. It might immediately assist you stay away from a vicious quarrel with your chap.

To begin with, the jokes you pay attention to about guys being dumb jocks who only care about sex, beer and TV (and the sports competition on TV) are accurate. We've been trying to advise you for years, on the contrary you continue laughing. It's reality. Get over it. We recognize you females take ease in owning artificial quantities of clothes and shopping for no excellent cause, and we've tried our best to come to grips with it. By the same token, you need to recognize that we guys are just a tad closer to our Neanderthal brethren than you'd like. We're uncomplicated: work (if possible by means of manly tools), beer, pizza, beer, game, sex (or additional game and beer, if that’s not in the cards), snooze, wash and do again.

Here are particular hints to help you deal with us and our very old ways:

* Exchange a few words plainly. If you say it's fine that I gaze at the game, my wits just turned off. Don’t aim to intimate that it's not OK. Just tell us what you want us to do. We're usually glad to familiarize (as we are trying to locate ourselves for the sex part of the day). We may give you a second opportunity, by way of a quick, "Are you sure?" But that’s it. Don’t expect a third chance. Loyal, we probably know you meant no, however it's just not worth the effort to figure out if your yes meant "sure," your "uh-huh" meant, "Are you kidding? Of course not!" or something in between.

* Return. Recall Pavlov's experiments? We are like dogs. Remunerate us when we do something you love (chick flick, flowers, cook you dinner, take you shopping, give you the credit card to go shopping not including us, etc.) and we'll be more probable to do it again. A little hanky-panky, authorization to go out with the guys or a icy mug will go a long way.

* To finish, because we are from Mars and all, no, we in truth don’t understand why it takes two hours to get ready. Expect our annoyance. Get started early. You know it's going to take you 45 minutes to modify your outfit three times. Construct it into the schedule. In the occasion that you stop thinking about, turn on the game, get us a beer (or two, depending on how far behind schedule you are) and tell us to sit tight. We'll not recall we were even planning on that feast and a movie. Just notice that if this drags on too long, we cannot be held responsible for drinking all the beer in the fridge and any wrong behavior that follows.

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